Legally Blind (Blonde?) Driver

Yesterday, I discovered that my driver's license had expired on my birthday. So, today, I found the new location of the DMV and got the license renewed. Wow! $26. I suppose that includes a late fee for dummies.

They have this vision testing thing that you have to place your forehead against. I could see other people's makeup, and I'm sure I saw ginormous flakes of skin hanging there, too. So, I was supposed to look in there and read three sets of letters on line five. Well, I kept reading what I (barely) saw (with my glasses ON!) and she kept telling me to do it again. I was reading only what I could see in the middle. So, on the last try I finally saw three sets of numbers lit up. I read all three sets, guessing at some numbers by what I thought the shape of the numbers looked like.

What I learned is that you can't be squeamish about pushing your forehead on that filthy little bar. Your head controls the bar, and if you don't push it just right, all three columns will not light up.

The DMV also has new photography equipment. Boy, I've had some bad license pictures in the past (some good ones, too), but this one out-bads them, hands down! OMGoodness! It is enough to make you drive with extreme caution because the thought of whipping that thing out to show a police officer is enough to make you become the best driver in the world. No way do I want someone gawking at that picture.

The DMV has a perfect money-making scheme for the state government. Don't send license renewal notices in the mail. Dummies like me won't remember to renew them. They can make money off people like me by charging late fees AND by nice little fines if you happen to get stopped or have an accident without a license. I wonder how much longer I would have gone without noticing that it had expired if I had not had to write it down on the form at the dentists' office yesterday.

I can say one nice thing about the DMV, they have a pretty good system of herding people through. When I arrived (after waiting a day and forever for a train), I was discouraged to see that there was a long line, but I soon could see that the line moved reasonably quickly. People were sent directly to seats at the counter to be helped. When my turn came, I was promptly sent to a seat in the waiting area. Of course. My wait was probably five or ten minutes when my name was called. The rest of the process was pretty quick. The picture? I'm stuck with it until 2015. The lady told me the year so that I will know next time. I think it was 2015. Was it 2015? Now, when is it next time?